The Lifelong Benefits of Meaningful Relationships

By Mara Soloway, I Start Wondering Columnist

A Harvard study has found one thing that affects the quality of our lives that is equally, if not more, important than the conditions of one’s health. Simply put, close and meaningful relationships are a key factor in living a full life.

The Harvard Study of Adult Development began in 1938, tracking the lives of 724 men from two groups: Harvard College sophomores (including John F. Kennedy) and boys from Boston's poorest neighborhoods. Every two years, researchers interviewed these men about their work, home lives and health. About 60 of the men are still alive, most now in their 90s, and still participating in the study.

The Second Generation Study includes the wives and more than 2,000 children of the original cohort. These data, collected over decades, offer a rare picture of entire lives and the choices people make, providing insight into what keeps us healthy and happy throughout our lives. This study adds a wider range of relationships, not just marriage.

Other research confirms what this program discovered about relationships.

What the studies found

What lessons have come from the tens of thousands of pages of information on these lives? The program’s current director, Dr. Robert Waldinger, stated, “The lessons aren't about wealth or fame or working harder and harder. The clearest message that we get from this study is this: good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period.”

Waldinger describes the three biggest takeaways about relationships:

1. Social connections are really good for us, and loneliness kills

People who are more socially connected are happier, physically healthier and live longer than those who are less well connected. Loneliness, on the other hand, is a major public health risk. Research from Brigham Young University shows that chronic loneliness causes a 26% increased risk of premature death.

Additionally, loneliness has been linked to higher rates of depression, anxiety, cardiovascular disease, and cognitive decline. Because more than one in five Americans report that they feel lonely, fostering meaningful social bonds is essential for longevity.

2. Quality matters more than quantity

It’s not just the number of friends you have or whether you’re in a committed relationship—it’s the quality of those relationships that matters. High-conflict marriages and toxic friendships are harmful, while warm, supportive relationships are protective.

Other studies support this. Research on the Blue Zones, regions around the world where people live exceptionally long lives, consistently identifies strong social relationships and family/community ties as key lifestyle factors associated with exceptional longevity. 

Similarly, a 2010 meta-analysis in PLOS Medicine found that individuals – regardless of age, sex, initial health status or cause of death – with strong social relationships had a 50% higher likelihood of survival over time.

Waldinger emphasizes that relationship satisfaction at age 50 predicts health at age 80 more reliably than cholesterol or blood pressure.

3. Good relationships protect our brains

The Harvard study also shows that strong, reliable relationships in older age are linked to slower cognitive decline. People who felt they could count on their partners or close friends maintained better memory function in their 80s. Conversely, unreliable or conflict-ridden relationships are associated with earlier memory decline.

Research from the Rush Memory and Aging Project also supports this, finding that social engagement and meaningful interpersonal interaction are linked to lower risk of dementia and slower cognitive decline, even when accounting for other lifestyle factors.

Older women and the power of relationships

While much of the Harvard Study focused on men, other research has explored how relationships impact older women, revealing both similarities and unique patterns.

Older women tend to maintain larger and more emotionally intimate social networks than men, including close friends, family, and community connections. Research from the National Social Life, Health, and Aging Project shows that women’s social engagement is strongly linked to better mental health, lower rates of depression, and longer life expectancy.

Women often act as “social hubs” in families and communities, fostering connections not only for themselves but for others. This centrality can buffer against loneliness, especially after widowhood or retirement. However, women who lose close companions or experience social isolation are at greater risk for physical and cognitive decline.

For older women, friendships often provide as much—or sometimes more—emotional support than romantic partnerships. A study in The Journals of Gerontology found, among other things, that meaningful connections are not limited to romantic bonds—friendships and community ties are equally protective: 

• Among adults 65 or older, interactions with friends were associated with better mood and emotional well-being than interactions with other social partners (including family or romantic partners). 

• Friend encounters were consistently more pleasant and linked to better daily emotional states

Older women frequently engage in caregiving, volunteering or mentoring, which strengthens their social networks and provides a sense of purpose. Studies on “productive aging” indicate that women involved in these roles report higher life satisfaction, reduced stress and a sense of belonging, all of which contribute to healthier aging.

Practical takeaways for older women

Maintaining relationships is a lifelong commitment. The happiest retirees in the Harvard study had actively built new social connections after their careers ended. Similarly, other research in The Journals of Gerontology shows that older adults who participate in social activities such as volunteer work, clubs or community activities report higher life satisfaction and better health outcomes.

By nurturing both intimate and broader social networks, older women can enjoy not just longer lives but richer, more resilient ones—mirroring the lessons found in the Harvard Study but highlighting the distinctive ways women cultivate connection.

Waldinger offers practical tips for cultivating relationships:

• Replace some screen time with people time – play board games, listen to or make music, etc.

• Spice up a relationship by trying new activities together 

• Reach out to someone you haven’t spoken to in years 

Other approaches supported by research include:

• Prioritize emotionally supportive friendships alongside family and romantic relationships 

• Engage in community groups, volunteering, or mentoring opportunities 

• Maintain consistent social contact, even if mobility or health limitations make frequent meetings challenging 

• Seek therapy or support groups when navigating life transitions like widowhood or retirement 

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The wisdom of these studies is clear: the people who fare best as they age are those who engage in meaningful relationships—with family, friends, and community. Quality, trust, and mutual support matter more than status, wealth, or being busy.

So this week, consider: what can you do to deepen your current relationships or form new ones? Even small efforts—making a phone call, joining a club, sharing a meal—can have lasting effects on your happiness and health.