Research on Grandparenting: The Joys and Costs
By Dorian Martin,
I Start Wondering Founder
Many women who have reached midlife and beyond – including several of our I Start Wondering team members – describe the relationships with their grandchildren as one of their greatest pleasures.
Common lore has it that a strong relationship with a grandchild can keep a grandparent young at heart, physically active and engaged, and mentally and creatively sharp.
Yet like everything, there can be energetic, emotional, and financial costs related to these relationships. To better understand the state of grandparenting in the United States, we decided to dive into the research.
The Basic Numbers
Grandparenting Often Starts in the 60s:
While grandparents often are depicted in the media as being much older, the Pew Research Center noted that the average age of a U.S. grandparent in 2024 was 68. Unsurprisingly, 74% of individuals between the ages of 80-90 were grandparents, as compared to less than 1% of U.S. adults in their 30s.
Growing the Next Generation:
The Pew Research Center also reports that grandparents had, on average, six grandchildren during 2022-23. Yet almost one in five who were between the ages of 50 and above had 7-10 grandchildren, while 14% had more than 10 grandchildren.
Head of the Household:
Researchers found that fewer than 1 in 10 children lived with a grandparent who is the head of the household instead of with their parents in 2024. The Pew Research Center noted that 48% of children who were in this situation lived in a household that had two married grandparents. However, 43% lived with a grandmother who was single while 9% lived with a grandfather who didn’t have a spouse present.
The Cost to Grandparents
Providing a Financial Lifeline:
AARP’s researchers found that on average, grandparents provided $2,654 in direct financial support annually for grandchildren. These funds – which are more than the average monthly retiree benefit of $2,071 provided by Social Security – were used to help cover basic needs, education, and childcare. As a whole, grandparents contribute over $172 billion in direct financial support annually to grandchildren and an estimated $731 billion in unpaid caregiving.
Grandparents in Caregiving Roles:
The Pew Research Center noted that 21% of grandparents reported in 2022-23 that they and/or their spouse spent 100 hours or more caring for a grandchild or great-grandchild during the previous two years.
Building Close Ties – and Longevity
Staying in Touch:
Most grandparents who are 65 and older connect with their grandchildren monthly, if not more often, according to the Pew Research Center.
Good Vibes:
Those relationships go both ways, with 36% of adults saying that they are extremely or very close to their grandparents and 27% reporting being somewhat close. Additionally, Pew Research Center noted that almost 50% of Black Americans say they’re extremely or very close to their grandparents, as compared to Hispanic (36%), Asian (34%) and White adults (32%).
A Reason for Joy:
When surveying a group of adults age 65 and older about how excited they felt about what their life would be like in their 70s and beyond, Pew Research Center found that many respondents pointed to spending time with grandchildren as a key reason for feeling at least somewhat excited about their later years.
Increased Longevity:
Being a grandparent also benefits the older adult through a different form of abundance: increased longevity. The Blue Zones research, which analyzed places around the world that have the highest proportions of centenarians, found that establishing stable and extended family structures is one of nine factors found among global communities where individuals live the longest.
Closing Thoughts
Entering the third chapter of life, many women begin thinking about legacy, which can also include their grandchildren. While these relationships can be enriching for both of these generations, we suggest that grandmothers consider these topics of discussion:
Women who become grandparents need to have a voice in how much time they spend in the caregiving role. While some women are open to stepping fully into this role, others may have differing priorities for how they want to use their time. Instead of operating on unspoken assumptions and creating feelings of guilt around the grandparent’s availability, we encourage an honest discussion between grandparents and their adult children to reach agreement on a realistic time commitment that can be renegotiated as needed.
Similarly, grandparents need to consider how much money they can truly afford to contribute to their grandchildren’s care. Is this money needed for the grandchild’s basic necessities or are these funds used for wants, whether that’s extra streaming services, toys, or other nice-to-haves? Again, this situation requires an open discussion about the parents’ financial situation, spending choices and expectations, and what the grandparents are willing to spend and can truly afford. We’d also suggest that this would be an opportune time to begin to teach grandchildren about money basics, whether that’s saving an allowance, spending or earning money through the time-tested vehicle of doing assigned chores.
Finally, many women who reach this stage of life don’t have grandchildren, whether by choice or fate. That doesn’t mean, however, that they can’t benefit from interacting with younger generations if they want that type of relationship. Many opportunities are available, whether tutoring children at area schools, mentoring, serving as a reader for a local library’s story time, participating in youth organizations, teaching creative skills to youngsters, or getting to know the neighbor’s children. These kinds of opportunities give women a chance to build a “family of choice” that can provide emotional support and joy in the later years of life as well as a chance to build a different kind of legacy.
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